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    May 11

    To share with you a speech which have helped me a lot

    Stanford Report, June 14, 2005

    'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

    This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

    I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

    The first story is about connecting the dots.

    I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

    It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

    And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

    It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

    Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

    None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

    Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

    My second story is about love and loss.

    I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

    I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

    I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

    During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

    I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

    My third story is about death.

    When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

    Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

    About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

    I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

    This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

    No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

    Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

    Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

    Thank you all very much.

     

     

    If there is only one day left, what would you do and how do you choose?

    Words like stones, I never give up.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA

     

    May 06

    美国感悟..校内封了

    美国感悟(一)

    来到美国三个多月,终于迎来了春暖花开的季节。还没有来的及领略太多,一个学期就过去了。由于事情没有做完,估计要待到七月底了。一个周末的下午,我坐在不知名的公园里,懒懒的太阳晒在身上,看着满目的青翠和碧蓝的天空,还有三三两两疯跑的小孩和追逐的松鼠,第一次记下了自己的感悟。

    美国之所以美,环境是没话说,绿油油的叶子一尘不染,天空也永远都是宜人的淡蓝色,鞋子和衣服不怎么用洗,特别适合我这种懒人。人少,街上的车永远比人多。车轮子上的国家,总有你叫不上名字的车。刚来的时候还喜欢看,后来渐渐失去了兴趣,代步工具而已。也终于明白老师为什么不拿车当车,让我们几个学生开着当碰碰车撞。我住在新泽西,一个小时就能到达纽约的市中心,喧嚣与寂静之间,其实并不远。

    在这种舒服的环境下生活,人变的有些清心寡欲。试想这里一般的工作都不累,福利又好,生活真是乐无边,唯一的事情就是担心发胖,所以这些人没事天气一好,换上短裤戴上耳机像只动物一样的就出来跑步了。

    当然这里也有黑人区,小小的房子一个挨着一个,街道上随处可见的垃圾,晃晃悠悠的黑人,大部分都是呆呆的样子。我没有贬低他们的意思,可能是教育程度的不够,也可能真的是没有进化完全,比其他人种脑力上要稍稍差点,但是体力确实过人,打球会把人往死里撞。

    此时一辆警车居然开到草坪里来了,虽然我只是闯过红灯但还是有些紧张。警察把不远处坐着的两个人检查了一下,真是闲的没事干了。这时来了一只小松鼠,嘴里咬着一团卫生纸,莫非它是清洁工?原来它对旁边的垃圾箱很感兴趣,看来松鼠即使再可爱,也逃脱不了鼠的本性,悉悉索索到处摸索,还从树上往下扔东西,差点砸到我的显示屏。

    给家里的电话,看来以后是不能说美国好了,妈妈开始担心我想留在这里,事实上不管我想不想,目前还没有这种可能性。我想父母的心情可以理解,谁不想膝下儿女成群,共享天伦之乐。谁也不愿意辛辛苦苦养大的孩子,崇洋媚外的去给外国人卖命。我的父母为人忠厚善良,一辈子辛辛苦苦,虽不富裕,却也从来没有缺过我钱花,在这样幸福的家庭中长大,我很知足。孝顺两个字,我要怎样去尽心尽力?不只是对父母,同样我的祖国母亲虽不富裕,但还是尽到了九年义务教育的责任。虽然我们的教育经费从来没有超过5%,但还是有研究生的公费、出国交流的经费,我们这些有幸受益的人,若只当是沾到一点便宜似得欣然接受,若借着这个机会投入了他人的怀抱,不为国做些事情,岂不是忘恩负义、受之有愧?母亲,中国,你有所不知,美国虽好,中国虽有这样那样的不足,可是子不嫌母丑,狗不嫌家贫。蝇营狗苟的那些人那些事,永远不会发生在你儿子身上。我们虽没有足以炫耀的资本,但我们有不依附他人、自食其力的本事,和丰富完整的人格。相信你的儿子,永远不会让你失望。

    由美国物价所想到的

    中国经济发展之快,举世瞩目。人民整体生活水平逐步提高,过去想都不敢想的事情现在都一一实现,电话、汽车,这种口气说的好像新闻联播一样。我们身边有钱的人越来越多了,基数大嘛有钱的总会多。可是我们的基尼系数有多大,相信大家都知道。要知道中国有着八亿农民,平均下来,真正的中国人还是穷鬼。草根阶层的日子,真的比以前好么?也许实际上好了,但是感觉不出来。真不知道他们看到商场里动辄上千的衣服会怎么想,这个社会是不是疯了,这个社会真是人吃人。也许我们大多数的人都一样选择了漠视,这也无从责怪。在日益严峻的社会压力、金钱崇拜下,大家自顾都不暇,看着周围那么多爆发的人,你会没事去想那些阴暗的东西?所以我不愿意去看汶川重建后老百姓的状况,震前穷的就够呛。我从来不敢去想,那些社会最底层人的生活。即使是所谓的白领们,拼死拼活的挣几千块钱,如果没有父母,要哪辈子才敢买房买车。我们社会的生存环境是如此的恶劣,我们的竞争是如此的激烈,要什么时候,才能赶上这些西方国家。到那一天,当建筑工人、餐厅服务员都不觉自己挣得少时,我们就..可是这种情况大概在中国不太现实,谁让我们有这么大的基数!地区发展在不均衡,城市乡村差距的又在拉大,去看看。社会弱势群体在逐渐被边缘化,在这个成败论英雄的时代,在这个人满为患的国度,也许注定要牺牲许多人的利益,来换取少数人的幸福。

    也许有人会纳闷为什么要想这些,说忧国忧民可能大点,只是在美国这几个月过的,真是觉得我们中国的老百姓太可怜。网上有很多中美物价比较的文章,情况确如其所述,国内那些精美的Levis CK在这里不过是班尼路一样的日常货。哈根达斯4块钱一大桶,哪来那么多情调。鲜见的肯德基、必胜客,满街的星巴克,中国人的钱就这么好挣,能不能长点志气。试想在美国挣1000块钱,吃饭只需要200块够了。中国呢,逛一次超市就没了,更不要想那些贵的离谱的奢侈品。所以看到这边的人,有工作的都很乐呵,傻乎乎的态度极为友好,人家没有太多发愁的。什么时候我们买一条牛仔裤也只需要50元的时候,我们的生活水平就提高了。所以借舍友的话:不买就亏了,我要把国内唬人的东西全买了,省的以后挨宰。等回去了,我就去买班尼路、美特斯邦威、安踏、李宁,因为以我们的发展水平,就应该买这个档次的东西。好高骛远的孩子们,只是因为花着两个家长的钱,无所顾忌。

    理论上分析,美国物价的便宜,主要是借助其处于世界中心国的地位,凭借作为世界货币的美元,从世界各地以超低的价格采购商品。还有什么国际贸易的萨缪尔森-斯多普定理,世界范围内的产品竞争不仅让原本对价格起限制作用的不可贸易品失去了作用,而且趋向于把它们的价格也在世界范围内拉平,差不多一个意思。网上还有人说中国18年赶超美国,可哪也只是GDP总量,人口是人家三倍,还生呢,越没钱越生,急死个人。

    又说民主

    经济经济,民主民主,每次讨论到中国的问题,这些外国人总要牵扯民主自由,外国人说也就罢了,那些叛国贼们,也总是以此作为把柄大肆抨击。没学过历史的呆子,你们屠杀印第安人的时候,问没问过什么民主;你们的黑人至今不是还受歧视。看看中国什么状况,僧多粥少的情况下,搞完全的民主,乱不死你才怪。经济基础决定上层建筑,什么时候我们真的发展好了,民主自然会到来。

    当然我也承认我们的不足,做为一个国富民穷的国家,一个在西方人眼中加以”arbitrary”标签的政党,我们需要革新的地方实在是太多太多。纵然锦涛再英明,宝宝再平易近人,也不过是个人的力量和大家心里的安慰。体制不变,再多cliché教育也叫人厌烦,这年代搞思想控制不太可能,没见过哪个孩子是家长逼着才学习好的。既然大家都承认了市场经济的好处,为什么就不能改变计划经济下的统治方式?体制体制,最关键却也最难,多少利益集团的博弈,破旧立新,总是要有人出血的。

    开始我以为金融危机下,美国人低劣的道德水准也得以展现。后来我明白,这不过是资本逐利下的商业行为。如果说美国是商人控制的政府,那么中国就是政府控制的商人。美国政府掌握军权,想摆脱这种控制容易,小马不是跟华尔街较劲么。而中国商人面对政府,尤其是独裁的政府,恐怕只有叫爹的份。黄光裕再牛,抓你个辫子就关进去,高压统治,想整谁不容易。前阵子看到某某部长又发言什么经济危机下国企第一季度利润增长30%,我爱国但我真是很痛心。但愿这些超额的垄断利润,可以最终分配给穷苦的人民,而不是那些社会的蛀虫。但愿这些资源的集中,可以真的搞出些什么东西,不要再受制于他人的技术。虽然我看过许多类似闫真写的官场小说,但我还是相信,能走到高层的领导干部,对于权力和金钱已经没有什么要求,应该可以为人民着想。只怕天高皇帝远的地方官儿,有点权力就胡作非为,祸害一方百姓。

    美国是精英的国家,少数的精英统治着多数的白痴,收银员都可以痴痴呆呆的,国内没见过。市长、州长,只有获得民众的好感通过竞选才能任职,所以尽管他们把大众当白痴,却也只有讨好的份,不得不为他们着想,这样衣食无忧安居乐业的白痴才会把选票投给他们。可惜我们的一党制是变不了,那么干部任免考核升迁体制要变,监督体制也要变,不过说到底都是一家子人,真正的家丑不会外扬,执行的效果总是要打折扣。什么时候我们的国家领导人能有点桃色新闻我们就进步了,玩笑话。

    医改、房改和社保,船大真是不好调头。医改初稿,看着晕倒,真怀疑是不是真是有正邪两派的存在,总觉着当权者给自己留了条腐败的后路,叹改革何其难。

    不值钱的劳动力

    种种复杂的问题,其实源头很简单:人太多。物价、住房这些先不谈。就说就业压力, 这里的一份实习,竞争的人比国内要少的少,投几个都有回音,要是国内早就石沉大海了。名牌大学,就业一年不如一年。中国哪来那么多高端的职位来容纳这些脑力超强的人才。说白了我们不过是个手工作坊,需要更多的是技工。

    再说工资,以前我以为月薪能上万就不错,可是来了按换算汇率一换算,那这里人人都上万了,也许是不应该去换算,但是我们的物价高,住房贵,钱真的不像钱。美国觉得100美金就很多了,100人民币呢?月薪3000块,不算你加班费,我们大多数的人,就值这个价,同理美国就是3000美金,可是同样的钱生活质量可不同,你一年的工资可以买两辆雅阁了,国内你要怎么活?想买车..轱辘?去买奥拓吧,那才是我们的发展水平。奋斗上的那谁开着个小奥拓,也挺开心的。

    天外有天,人外有人。牛人的故事虽不尽相同,却都是以年薪***收尾,到这里明白了常春藤并不是高不可攀,雷曼高盛也没有那般望而生畏,牛人有牛人的生活,并不见得有一般人快乐。远处帝国大厦的灯光依稀可见,其实底下也就是那么回事。

    我在电话里讲的眉飞色舞,没有注意到妈妈的不对劲,冷冷的甩给我了一句:“你要那么多钱干什么?”我懵了,回答不上来,原来我也是那畸形心态的人。可是老妈,我不想你们给我买房子,只有靠自己,才能活的顶天立地。男孩子要穷养,如果你们早知道,就不该满足我的每个愿望。

    其实几千块钱也可以过的很好,真正的生活就是平平淡淡,天天大手大脚的人肯定不正常。想起暑假给石药的中层批英语作文,有个人写中秋节一家人回娘家,出去走走赏月,简单无比的单词和语法,确是情真意切,看的出一家人的幸福美满。这种团聚的场景,大概也是游子们所朝思暮想的。幸福和金钱的关系,应该就是开口向下的凸函数,现实与不现实的之间,也需要寻找一个平衡点。

    好了不思考了,收尾,免的上帝笑疼肚子。这是我内心的想法,希望妈妈可以懂!

     

    April 14

    华盛顿游记

        从华盛顿回来,连续两天都在做梦,我已尽力不让回忆去打扰我的生活,可它还是一次次的在梦里摧毁我。我不知道还能够跟谁去诉说,怕是只有写出来,心里才能舒服些。忍不住爬起来去看你的博客,发现内容惊人的一致。也许世上是有这么一种沟通的方式能够穿越这大洋的隔阂,只是又如何?树怕剥皮,人怕伤心。现在的你让我困惑,到底是谁伤了谁的心?那些晚风中的花前月下,那些一路的相互扶持,那些甜蜜热烈的吻,都随着一个决定而冰冻、死掉了。爱恨分明,这是个褒义词。你的电话让我很感动,只是一切都失去了意义。一刀两断,是最好的选择。愿世界多一些笑容,少一些叹息。
     
        华盛顿的风光很美,大家的生活节奏比这里要慢的多,徜徉在春的气息里,有些陶醉。一张梁静茹的CD放了一路,最后听的都要吐。虽然不幸地赶上了下雨,我还是很开心,白宫去不去对我来讲无所谓,只要是出去走走,我都很开心,不管是樱花灿烂的华盛顿,还是人潮拥挤的北京。抛开世俗的烦恼和现实的压力,人才能获得一种更高的境界,享受纯粹的快乐。
     
        复活节是基督徒接受洗礼的时候,我也有幸见识了一回。长老讲道非常精彩,充满着简单而深刻的道理。“爱情像死亡一样坚强”,长老还解释了半天,其实意思就是至死不渝。不免有点花痴的幻想自己西式婚礼上的那句简单的“I do”,那是多么大的勇气和责任,难怪电影里戏剧性的场面总是在这时出现。只是现实中有多少人可以成为神仙眷侣,太多的社会压力让人们不得不为了物质生活放弃了许多,也许是我们的生存环境恶化了,也许是人们变得不劳而获了。马斯洛的需求理论,我们又在哪个层级呢?愿我们每人都能遇到心灵契合的那一半,真心真意,相濡以沫,不枉此生。
     
        也许咪咪说的对,我的情绪一直没有得到很好的宣泄,只是把它掩盖了起来。只是我也没法对谁发泄,只会把这些意识流的东西丢在这里,算是一种发泄吧。
    March 30

    Kobe sucks

    昨天去看了一场 NBA ,网队主场对湖人,忽然也想记下流水账,让脑子轻松一下。

    球场是新泽西的 IZOD ,开车只要 20 分钟,但是去的时候找路花了多一倍的时间。不禁想起上次半夜从美国十大治安最差地区的 Newark 回来,好多次想停车问路却被街边彪悍的黑人吓到,最终还是在一个分不清男女的黑人指导下,凭着方向感和逻辑推理开了回来,挺彪悍的说。

    科比到哪里,哪里就成了湖人的主场。大家跟疯了似的,盲目地崇拜。我则因为好多年不看的缘故,忙着补习基础知识,例如哈里斯是谁等等。由于 Tom 是狂迷科比,我也不好摆明我支持网队,可是我们在新泽西,干嘛不支持网队?何况还有易建联在!话说阿联最终也没上场,孤孤零零的热身、投篮,这些我们都看在眼里。这些我们也深有体会,始终融入不了这里的社会,也许这就是感同深受,同命相连。相比姚明,阿联要走的路还很多。一起加油吧。

    湖人方面,始终没有看到孙悦阿?连板凳都没有?汗。科比一出场群情振奋,黑黑瘦瘦的跟猴儿似的。

    比赛还不错,湖人还是技高一筹,关键时刻全队一瞪眼,蹭蹭蹭就拉开十几分。不过我觉得网队打的很不错,哈里斯的运球阿 .. 太帅了 .. 那个节奏真是控制的恰到好处,左摇右晃的,也很会用身体。卡特也不愧是腕儿,一出手就是不一样,带着一种自信。

    科比 根本就没怎么认真打,第二节的时候上来,打一个快攻,速度都起来了,前面一个后卫都站好位了,都没准备拦他,他以为人家会盯得很紧吧,还来了个超级变向,正撞在人家身上,自己翻了三个滚,扭着脚下场了,还被吹撞人,我好想喊 You suck ,但是怕被周围人打哎。

    第三节科比还是上来了,关键时刻连投了三个三分,就是那种也不组织下进攻,上去就投的,极大地挫败了网队的士气。全场都疯了,明星就是不一样阿。不过总体来说这场他不在状态,观赏性欠佳。

    NBA 是高度商业化的比赛,怕是只有亲临其境才能感受的到。浑然一体的灯光和音响,各种角色卖力的表演, DJ 煽情的话语,见缝插针的广告,各种互动的游戏,一切都是为了观众,纯粹的娱乐。我在仔细的观察,细细的体会。

    湖人以 7 8 分的优势赢得了比赛,对于我结果并不重要。最后让我赞叹的是赛后观众的退场,人们通过各种不同的出口和途径回家去。汽车灯光的长龙蔚为壮观,但是却秩序井然,从停车场到高速的这段虽然车满为患,却从来没有堵住。上了高速后, Tom 开始彪了起来,配上咚咚咚咚的 HIPPOP ,带着一些迷失的味道。月光照了下来,路边是黑黑的森林,有些困意,恍恍惚惚,这条路似曾相识,哪年哪月,我也曾经在这样的夜,开回我温暖的家。

     

    转发:导师给儿子的一封信

    致刘舒啸弱冠之礼

    儿子,

    斗转星移,岁月流火,在天命之年向我们招手的同时,转眼已看到你踏入了弱冠之年。十八年来,你不仅给我们带来了喜悦,而更重要的是自豪。

    近百年来,愚昧和恐惧的阴霾不断地侵蚀着人类的心性,虚妄的假定和无谓的争斗消耗了一代代年轻人的豪情。而如今,科技的进步,全球的融合,促使人类重新审视生命的价值,回归历史的真实,一个多元共存的格局愈发清晰可见了。这是一个千载难逢的时代,你可谓生逢其时。

    对于我们中国人,这一时代弥足珍贵。数百年的外辱内患掳走了我们的自信,泯灭了我们的理想。但是,中华文明之所以延绵不断,是因为每一个时代都有那么一批民族的脊梁。他们有的是洞悉真谛的智者,有的是迎接挑战的强者,有的是创造奇迹的能者。他们有着一个共同特性,那就是鄙夷苟且,锐意进取,威武不屈,以天下为己任。

    天将降大任于吾斯人也。作为时代的幸运儿,你的生活和学习可谓一路顺遂。但是,你没有就此安于现状,而是在不断地领悟人生,怀着对未来的憧憬,认真地汲取环境中的养分,凝聚成一股奋发向上的能量。弱冠之年是人生旅途的第一个里程碑,你正在蓄势待发。

    马行无力皆因瘦,人不风流只为贫。你天性纯良,若担当济世爱民之大任,则务求苦读勤修,增智积能。

    你将踏入一个伦常乖舛的世界,凡事要识大体,明大义,不可以私而害公;择友要亲君子,远小人,不可因乐而废仁。

    弱冠弄柔翰,卓荦观群书。人类超脱动物的根本标志在于他们善于学习和思考,然而仅仅作为一名饱学之士仍然是不够的,成功者还必须敏于行动。所以,你应该时刻牢记陶行知先生的教诲:“知是行之始,行是知之成”。殊不见,芸芸众生,好高骛远者有之,夸夸其谈者有之,蝇营狗苟者尤众,而志存高远,又敏于行动者,却廖若星辰。“义在事先,至情达性,谋定而后发,执著而探微,欲动则效死。”这五句话是父亲在《成功长青》这本书中总结的人生感悟,在此与你共勉。

    冠者,礼之始也。在你成长的道路上,每一步都伴随着来自父母、师长和亲朋好友无私的关爱和美好的祝福。这些是你最幸运的财富,是你人生旅途的一个个补给站,你理应以实际的行动和结果回馈于他们,以及他们所关心的世界。

    永远爱你的,

     

    父亲

    2009年3月19日

    March 26

    梦醒时分

    每天一个笑话就真能让自己的心情好吗?
    真是不喜欢每天早上醒来的时刻,能不能什么都不想。网上一个人都没有,过国内的生物钟多好,看到线上的那么多人,即使不聊天也很温暖。
    在图书馆看到一个中国老太,忽然很想妈妈,来了第一次觉得想家,有些话是没法跟她说了。
    人生的一关那,
    算又成熟了点。
    ....
    不说了,
    不怪谁,
    也别想了,
    浪费。
    纽瓦克机场永远那么灯火通明~怎么这么多废话。干活去吧。
     
    March 16

    散场了

    莫非我的直觉真准到这种地步,

    看来以后放心大胆地相信好了。

    昨天刚刚写完一篇日志,

    权当是心理准备和铺垫了。

     

    亦或是有神的启示?

    半夜里不知为何醒来,

    爬着喝了一罐饮料。

    又开始昏睡,

    这两天总是噩梦连连,

    故事总是发生在高中的校园。

    这次也不例外,

    一条吃人的巨蟒,

    追杀我哎。

    一路上吃了四五个人,

    害得我都爬到网球场的顶上了,

    这种地方它应该上不了。

    后来忘了是谁了,

    想要降它但法力不够,

    只得搬出好多神来,

    把它给收了。

    那巨蟒变成了人形,

    连连的作揖,

    看来它也不想做妖。

    可能是看多了圣经,

    Demon possessed 这种事,

    原来中外都有。

     

    Anyway

    这是一个终点,

    没想到来的这么快而已。

    再也不用为两个人考虑了,

    还好有充分的思想准备,

    还好我真真切切地付出了全部的感情,

    若男说,恋爱中付出多的一方因为用尽了全力,

    所以没有什么遗憾,

    我不后悔。

    他肯为了你离婚,

    这足够了。

    我也想找个爱我的,

    累,我也不想再隐隐的痛了。

    我不怪你,

    真的,

    追求真爱本就是每个人的权力。

    我没有那么小气。

    好了说的太多了,

    我也是发泄一下,

    草草的收场。

    还是祝福吧。

    但愿你的眼睛,

    只看得到笑容。

     

    March 15

    晃晃悠悠

    走的远了,才看的清。
    看的清那些是是非非,那些纠结的感情。
    每个人都有每个人的标准,
    对谁都没有必要品头论足。
    若是为真爱,
    我挺你,
    甭管我,
    上。
     
    自己又是个什么呢?
    对于物质极端的厌恶,
    让我对很多事不屑一顾。
    放弃那么长的电影,
    皆因为那几句话的警醒,
    原来我们并没有那么多感情可言。

    让我对很多事不屑一顾。

    物质这东西挺好,

    谁也脱不了。

    不过有得必有失,

    不好说什么,

    兼得最好,

    大家心里都明白的。

     
    绕来绕去绕了好大一圈,
    还是回到了原来的我。
    不切实际的梦想和毫无根据的野心,
    自己都受不了的感性,
    一根筋认死理。
    追求精神至上,
    寻找那真性情的人。
    这就是命。
    这就是我。
    认了。
     
    路走的多了,
    发现哪里也都一样,
    事情也有着共性。
    平衡,
    统治着世上的一切。
    但愿我自己也可身体力行的做到一些。
    Anyway
    命运是在自己手中的,
    只要努力总会有好结果的。
     
    忽然很想祝福大家,
    曾经爱过的和爱过我的,
    希望你们都能够幸福。
    好像大部分都挺开心,
    美慧与男友在澳洲团聚了,
    六年的异地恋,
    祝福吧。
    还要关心我的朋友们,
    郁闷的时候你们陪我聊天,
    没有你们我这老男人会很郁闷的,
    谢谢!谢谢!
    小的不才,我给你们做菜吃!!
     
     
    WTC倒了,还会再倒吗?
    March 10

    博物馆

    放春假了,去纽约玩了两天,累的要散架,回来还通宵赶作业,写的不好组员不满意,觉得很丢人。开始夏令时了,跟国内正好相差12个小时。三八妇女节刘博士请客,五个男人去Cosco采购,吃饭,庆祝。。可惜国内已经是三月九了,一个祝福都没有送出。累的真是不行了,阿门。
    重庆森林,你会再一次迷失吗?
    随便了。
     
    February 23

    又来了

    看过了许多美丽的风景,看到了许多繁华与寂寥。

    却搞不懂自己的想法。

    下雨,面试,阴霾。

    受凉,荒凉的街景,发烧。

    熬皮蛋瘦肉,自己喝。头还是疼。

    冷冷的声音,心里也荒凉。

    有些温暖我承受不起,

    而需要的温暖得不到。

    听到认识你时常听的歌。

    一瞬间的泪流满面,

    又来了,

    小脆弱。

     

     

    跟月经一样,Shit。睡觉去。

     
     
    October 05

    小小的故事

     

    每个故事都有一个女主角,还要搭配几个男演员,他们都以为自己是主角。

     

    香山原来是这么高,这群接近90后的孩子是这么的可爱,他们的世界如此的单纯可爱灿烂美好,一如朝阳般熠熠生辉。当然还有那些不尽人意的烦恼,一如那年的我们,那年的出游。

     

    所以这次集体的活动并不只是是欢笑,还多了几个小男生的赌气与争斗,也多了那个女主角的许多无奈。这么多年当我终于能够站在客观的角度上看懂故事的全局后,当我可以跳出来做一个公道的主持人时,我却像被什么堵住了喉咙,涩涩的讲不出话来。

     

    也许每个人的心中都有一场旷世的浩劫,也许某天偶然会触到那根敏感的神经,以一种unconscious的方式,颠覆整个世界。那夜梦到旧日的死党,梦到他父亲给我煎一个鸡蛋,还有他生日的那个伟大礼物,我就开始哭的昏天黑地,我也纳闷这样不会死吗?哪里来的这么多眼泪?我们跑出去,遇到了那些打太极的老人,他比划着动作告诉我要奉献出自己的爱心去帮助别人,说不出来的滋味。在一个清晨我们看到了那个幼小的迷鹿,以及它一脸的迷茫。后来我们抓住了它,没有费太多的力气,尽管它拼命的挣扎,你要知道那种感觉,那些皮毛和跳动的脉搏后来我独自穿过黑黑的隧道回家去,遇到同样那个匆匆的人,我问他你还喜欢着她吗,他说是。我说你真够二的,他猛然停住看了我一眼,很复杂的一眼,然后匆匆地走了..然后有人开始揽住我的胳膊,那个人哭了

     

    醒来,果然眼睛是干的,人真是不可能那样哭的。我不想流于滥情,但当我想明白为什么会梦到这么多东西后,泛滥的就不只是感情了..

     

    Unconscious,我控制不住。

    September 02

    后知后觉

        不知不觉中,半年又过去了。
     
        半年可以发生很多事情,半年也可以想明白一件事情。
     
        回家是多么温暖的两个字,家人的牵挂和游子的归宿。曾经无比厌烦的叮咛,现在听来却像一股股暖流。像一只温顺的小狗那样应和着,可以体谅他们的心情,男儿要大鹏展翅,母亲用泪眼相送。
     
        从石家庄到日照,最近运气不错,跟着公司的人旅游,还能顺便回趟家,圆满的一个暑假。公司新招聘来的几个年轻人,还都记得我面过他们,小心翼翼地问我职位,回答到外来人员后就打成了一片。年轻人爱折腾,累的半死还非要起来看日出。第一次看到日出,原来太阳移动的速度那么快。
     
        从日照到青岛,脱离大部队去拜访hummy和罐子。老同桌辞了上海的好工作,参加了公务员考试去青岛找罐子。这种魄力不是人人都有,尤其对于女孩子。作为一个懒人以及两年同桌的了解我惊异于她竟然肯费功夫再去考试。海风静静的吹着,周末的海滨城市适合出去走走。看着踏实的罐子,心里说不出的欣慰。我们这个年纪,虽然有些尴尬,却还有改变的资本。最爱的人和想要的生活,恐怕是一生最明智的选择。
       
        在家的日子如飞逝,见朋友的时间太多,陪父母的时间反而少了。带着妈妈到处乱逛,她总是陪着我,即使上次撞车也是。
     
        就差一个人,那年的四个人就凑齐了。不知道为什么见到你们,我就成了冒失鬼,说话也开始颠三倒四,一如八年前。游乐园里,也有很多的记忆,大金刚,过山车...我这辈子不要再碰了。校园,现在我可以平淡的走一圈了,微笑着看看那些经常呆过的地方,想想那些可爱的事情。那一年我一生气,整半年没理你,可能把你弄的莫名其妙吧。你问我是不是在逃避什么,我装的很冷,打打哈哈过去,倔的要死。最后你终于哭了,我才觉得过了。好吧,我是在逃避,逃避我解决不了的事情,因为我受不了。不够大气,可那个时候,我只是个自私的孩子。大概这就是本性,后来它又一次次发作,葬送了..高三那年重新排座位,老板在黑板上画了框框,按照成绩的顺序每个人上去选择自己的位置,我知道成绩第一的同桌想和第五的小恬,可能我拖人家后腿了吧,不爽。后来轮到小恬时,他填到了其他的位子。原来我还有很强的自尊心,11名是我,毅然的选了平行与同桌的另一排,那个时候我觉得并不潇洒,只觉得尴尬。也没有跟谁商量过坐在一起,现在想想真傻,小恬那是因为我啊,不想破坏我们这帮狗友的感情,可惜看似懦弱的我居然..大家一个个挨着上去,都30多了还没人要我,感觉好悲壮,万一哪个鼻涕男填到我身边怎么办?就在这个时候,戏剧性的一幕出现了,只见我未来的新同桌嗖嗖的走了上去,在我旁边的那个小框中刷刷地写下了她的大名,只听全班集体发出了“喔~”的一声,我的嘴也成了O型。她是叱诧班级的风云人物,也算是问题小青年,我觉她那个时候有点像佐罗,帅!下了课碰到她,她飞速地指着我说:“你.你,我是怕没有好座位了不得已才坐到哪儿的!”说完又是潇洒的转身,那叫一个酷啊~ 老同桌也无不惋惜地看着我,现在想想还有些歉意,不过大家毕竟都是值日七组的问题同学啊,友谊还是地久天长。
     
         探究未知,向来是我爱好之事。偶遇佛家弟子,本想补觉的旅途变成了十万个为什么之旅,居然被说服了..科学无法解释的东西现在可以解释了,哎,命啊,只占五分之一,这个说法我还可以接受。地球绕着太阳公转,还有月球的陪伴,这一切都是有规律的,它们一定在以某种方式在影响着我们。
     
        又是一年开学时,又是一年初秋季。去年此时体会改变的痛苦,今年当下学会享受下生活。秋高气爽的日子适合出去走走,前天去郊游钓鱼,凯哥半分钟一条鱼,T同学和我真是眼红,养鱼的都替我们急啊,说怎么可能还有钓不上来的啊,罢了,不杀生...
     
        玩也需要体力,补觉去补觉去。
    August 13

    你还记得吗

    一个人很疲惫,一个人想回家,很想很想。
    March 05

    烦死了

    "life is a bitch" Donald Trump说道。
    笑翻了,不禁想起了那句"life is like a box of chocolate..."以及其他种种形容生活的说法。
     
     
     
    February 18

    真挚

        校对到这么晚,却还不知道赶不赶的完。
        去美慧的qzone看了看,不知道多久没有更新了,呵现在跟男友正甜蜜着吧,祝福他们经得住时间空间考验的爱情,这样的真挚。
        我只能欣赏,还不敢羡慕。
        下午跟浙江的一个哥哥聊了会,这份友谊到现在五年了,虽然我们从未谋面。上大学那年暑假在英文聊天室认识他,那时他毕业刚做外贸,做单遇到问题在论坛上问呢,我就热心的回了下,一来二去熟了。两人开始还一起练口语呢,怪搞笑的。后来越说越投机直接汉化了,谈理想谈感情谈未来谈个没完。哥哥很努力,自己一个人在浙江上学,毕业闯荡,后来把父母都接了出来。他永远都是那么的有激情,在工作上。后来发现大家谁都不找女朋友,就别别扭扭的互相打听对方不会是同性恋吧,哪有两个男的聊这么欢的?我眼见着他升职,发展,跳槽,单干。他也一直关心着我奋斗,学习,考研。终归..今天知道他找女友了,呵呵,太阳从西边出来了。还是交大的高材生,把我好乐呀。他说两个人感情很纯,女方谈时也不知道他有事业,所以感情不牵扯什么物质。真是比自己找到了还高兴。苦尽甘来啊苦尽甘来!哥哥万岁!
         这人与人的路啊,怎么就是这么不同。我不好断然去羡慕他人的,却也没有什么理由不去感叹自己的,这条蜿蜒曲折的路啊,黑幽幽的看不到头。这颗漂泊的心,哪辈子才能漂到一个港湾呢?
    February 13

    急刹车

        回老家唯一的吸引力就是可以练车,在高速上小心翼翼的。没有暖气冻的只好抱着大狗猛晒太阳,好在晚上可以回城里住宾馆,就喜欢开夜车,顺便放首小歌。
        从老家回来high了两天,无非是一天见三四拨人,挺省时间。冯老师自己就算一拨吧,瞧我多重视你,学费真是没有白交,可谓立竿见影啊。
        那天去打真人cs,一出场就紧张的满地打滚,东躲西藏,后来端着把mp5冲来冲去,16个人打了第二,蛮骄傲的。
        晚上有高中同学聚会,人是越来越少了。
        回家累的感冒了,加上肌肉疼,一动浑身疼,可是最疼的地方,越是不动越痛...
    February 02

    我改!

          不可一世,自以为反应超快,视野超宽,加速超猛的...一个菜鸟,终于撞了,追尾,速度太快了,且最大的错误是明知距离不够了,刹车时还踩了离合,顿时感觉车子失控了...
          很多事情上我都提醒自己不要急躁,做人要老实,做事要踏实。可是...在速度这事上,我就是控制不住悲伤从高中有电脑开始,就最喜欢开极品飞车,撞车是什么概念?按下R复位而已,开了八年,不知道什么叫害怕。
          上了大学玩上了轮滑,别人都玩花,只有我觉着很无聊,围着几个桩子扭来扭去的,刷街才是我的最爱。得益于济南的地形以及拥堵的交通,在经十路没少过下坡的瘾。当时觉得最多就是自己摔点惨点,不会带来多大危害,除了偶尔几个吓到几个心脏不好的大妈,当然她们的叫声也常吓到我。
          速度感,我是太喜欢。暑假考研的时候,买了一辆那种弯把的赛车。轮滑速度快了,如果脚腕的力气不足,稍微一点小的变向就能造成失控。而自行车...没这一说,唉那个暑假我在解放路上闯了多少次红灯,占了多少回公车道。
          可不可以抱怨下外因,中百大厦里面实在太热太吵,呆久了人要爆炸的。停车时还要把车开到五楼,中间还来了次半坡起步,哭啊。出来的时候哪个缺德的停了我们那溜的出口了!!鬼知道我又是怎么绕出去的!!
          就是在这种烦躁的情绪下,我忘记了是晚上,忘记了市里不过40这点经验。追尾的前个路口,绿灯还有3秒,我车速在40多,人行道上有两个人,真控制不住,尽管老妈提醒了有两个人,我还是加了油门,绝对超50了,擦着这俩人就过去了。过了路口才有点后怕,我怎么就加着油门过去了?我为什么不减速并随时准备刹车?这两个人要是有一个没看到退一步,肯定就让我撞飞了。
         这不是游戏,不是游戏..这是人命...人命!!你可以自己不要命,你摔的露出骨头都没事,但你不能要别人的命!!
         我错了...
         本以为钥匙会被没收,没想到老爹处理完,没说啥,慢慢的又给了我。
         这是信任的力量,要是不改,我对的起谁?
         我改!
    January 31

    总结

     
    2007我很忙“2007我很忙!” 你呢?点这里测测看!
    January 27

    这是兔子

    这是兔子

    人生有三只兔子不可追.少儿时代,教室之外嬉戏玩耍是一只诱人的兔子,你若去追它,它就带给你荒废的一生;青年时代,校园之外名利富贵是一只诱人的兔子,你若去追它,它就带给你虚荣的一生;中年时代,社会上的灯红酒绿是一只诱人的兔子,你若去追它,它就带给你堕落的一生;所以,当你要赶路时,不要被草丛中蹿来蹿去的兔子弄得眼花缭乱、偏离了方向。记着自己是在赶路,惟一要干的是:看准方向,脚踏实地的向前、向前。

         要想有所作为,必先有所不为”。学会选择,也就是学会放弃。